Treasures Hidden in the Darkness

I deal with depression. And in dealing with depression, I often find myself in dark places. For me, depression feels like dwelling in utter darkness. Sometimes it makes me feel like all hope is gone — like I want to leave here altogether.

Depression gave me thoughts of suicide and isolated me from family and friends. But most painfully, it used to isolate and disconnect me from the one true source of my life, my health, and my strength: Almighty, powerful God.

I used to wonder why I had to carry this burden. The highs and the lows that come so easily and interchangeably — and in an instant made me feel like I was strapped to a never-ending roller coaster ride. I used to cry out to God and ask why this was attached to the cross I had to bear. I prayed to be delivered from this mental illness.

And one day, God answered me. He showed me that although this felt like a negative thing, there was a blessing buried in it. There were hidden treasures — secret riches — in my darkness.

The Treasure Found in the Dark

Because of my depression, I would get so low that the only way to be lifted out of it was to look up — to Jesus, the source of my strength, the healer of my mind, body, and soul, the light in the midst of the darkness.

Paul's Thorn — and Mine

In 2 Corinthians 12, the Apostle Paul talks about a thorn that he had in his flesh, and although it is not specifically stated what the thorn was, enough information was given to let us know that it was something that Paul did not like at all. As a matter of fact, Paul said:

Just like Paul did, God allowed me to eventually discover that what I thought was a curse, He's been able to use as a blessing. My depressive episodes forced me to draw nearer to God in my weakness and be empowered by His strength through His sufficient grace.

Secret Riches in the Darkest Times

In my depression, I found a deeper need for God — a need for continuous prayer, which is an intimate conversation with Him. In those conversations, I could pour out my struggles, and in return, I drew from His strength, His love, His grace, and His mercy. These were the secret riches that helped pull me back from the pit of despair. And what's even more amazing to me is that these secret riches were found in some of the darkest times of my life.

Now, I gladly boast about my weakness, because over the years through God's strength and help, I've been able to respond differently when I feel myself moving towards the darkness. Not only does His strength empower me, but His light that is within me shines brightly to overcome the darkness. When I am presented the opportunity to witness to others that may be dealing with depression as I have and continue to do so, I am able to encourage them. I am able to point them to my source of strength, the true source, the one who is able to give you hidden treasures in the dark, and lift you up out of despair: Almighty, powerful God.